The Diary - January 2016

An irreverent look back at NZ Football in the last month

January 1^st

Roy O'Donovan claims Manny Muscat “went down like a movie star.......” after he  headbutted \ assaulted him in the New Years Eve game between Central Coast Mariners and the Phoenix (which the Mariners won 3-1). Ref Kris Griffiths-Jones maintains the high standard of A-League officiating by not seeing the incident and then giving only a yellow card to O'Donovan.

New Year gongs for football – 92 cap Football Fern, Hayley Bowden, receives an MNZM.

Birkenhead United volunteer, Ross Frisby, receives a Queens Service Medal (QSM)

Hayley Bowden MNZM

 January 3^rd

Ernie Merrick says the Phoenix don't need to recruit any more players in the January transfer window.

January 5^th

Manny Muscat receives a 2 game ban for elbowing Roy O'Donovan in the New Years Eve game

January 6^th

The A-League hand down their 2^nd biggest ban of all time, giving Roy O'Donovan 8 weeks off for his headbutt of Manny Muscat.

Wellington Phoenix's Alex Rufer is out for the rest of the season after suffering a broken leg

January 9^th

The ASB Premiership is back, the Weenix score 2 in 2 minutes at the start of the second half but go on to lose 4-3 to WaiBOP, who win it with a Ryan Tinsley goal in the 7^th minute of added on time.

January 10^th

Not happy

All White's coach, Anthony Hudson, lashes out calling young kiwi players delusional, the NZ football culture laid back and says the game is moving backwards. 

He also blasts the lack of International games – 3 in the last year and none planned before the Oceania Nations Cup in June. Maybe he should have a word with the person responsible for the International program who is ….....errr a Mr A Hudson.

Merrick's words about not needing players may be coming back to haunt him as it is announced that striker, Roy Krishna, is out for 3 months with a foot injury.

Despite coach Ramon Tribulietx's worry about rustiness Auckland City comfortably dispatch Southern United 3-1. Team Wellington take the wind with them to Hawke's Bay and come back with 1 point after a 2-2 draw while Canterbury account for Waitakere 2-0.

Wonders never cease when A-League ref Stephen Lucas awards a penalty against the Phoenix but then reverses his decision after consulting with his assistant as a makeshift Phoenix battle to a 0-0 draw with league leaders Brisbane Roar.

January 11^th

Steve Sumner must be on holiday as the NZ media get initial comment on the Anthony Hudson tirade from David Chote. But by the end of the day they have spoken to 82 All White Sam Malcolmson (who says things aren't like they used to be and no one asks me to do anything) and ex coach Kevin Fallon (who ironically calls Hudson a whinging pom) so things are back to normal.

January 12^th

In the second part of his exit strategy, Anthony Hudson vehemently denies that his outburst was part of an exit strategy and claims he is here to stay.

January 13^th

The NZ media have exhausted their 1982 and other ex All White contact list and have now moved on to current players, with Ryan Thomas & Andrew Durante coming out in support of Hudson's comments.

Barcelona's Lionel Messi wins the Ballon D'or for the 5^th time, although he doesn't get much support from NZ with only Media Representative, Gordon Watson voting for him. All White captain Chris Wood opted for Robert Lewandowski, while Anthony Hudson choose Christiano Ronaldo.

Erstwhile Yellow Fever interviewer, Patrick Barnes, stuns Andrew Durante and the footballing world by not knowing who Paolo Maldini is!

Reports from Australia suggest the Phoenix have agreed a 10 year license with the FFA, the Phoenix quickly issue a statement denying that this is the case.

January 14^th

Glen Moss is the latest player to back Hudson's comments, and more surprisingly NZF president Deryck Shaw also comes out and backs Hudson as well.

NZ U17 women's team take just 1 minute to open their account and go on to beat Samoa 11-0 in the U17 Oceania Championship in the Cook Islands

January 15^th

Andy Martin, NZF CEO, is back from holiday and issues a very professional statement which appears to back Hudson, but actually doesn't really say anything at all.

WaiBOP United have an easy 3-0 win over Southern United (Is there any other kind of win over Southern United?)

8 games Manifestly unjust?

Central Coast Mariners announce that they will appeal the 8 game ban for O'Donovan claiming the penalty imposed is manifestly excessive and reflects a clear disconnection between the A-League and other leagues (both domestically and internationally). 

Maybe they should have a word with Scotsman Duncan Ferguson who in 1995 while playing for Rangers, performed a similar action on John McStay of Raith and received a 12 game ban AND a 3 month jail sentence!

January 16^th

The U17 Women go one better beating New Caledonia 12-0 in their 2^nd game at the Oceania Championship

January 17^th

4 goals, 2 bookings and 2 pens and that's just the first 20 minutes of the Team Wellington v Auckland City game that ends in a 2-2 draw. Hawke's Bay United beat Canterbury 3-1 in Christchurch. Waitakere beat the Weenix 4-1 at the Albanian Sandpit (or QBE to give it it's real name)

Newcastle Jets, who haven't scored a goal in 9 hours of football going into their game at home to the Phoenix, score 3 in a 3-1 victory!

January 19^th

NZ U17 women go one better again, beating Tonga 13-0 and winning their group with 36 goals for and none against

QBE Stadium ?

Oceania must think sand is the future and decide that all the upcoming Champions League games will be played at the Sandpit in Auckland, reversing an earlier decision to play one group in Wellington.

January 21^st

NZ Under 20 international, Kip Colvey, is drafted by MLS team San Jose Earthquakes. Being drafted effectively means he is there for a trial and hopefully he can go on to secure a professional contract

WaiBOP make a statement that they are not to be ignored in the race for the playoffs with an emphatic 5-0 trashing of Waitakere.

January 22^nd

FIFA presidential candidate, Prince Ali bin Hussein of Jordan visit's NZ Football in Auckland to canvass for votes in the upcoming FIFA presidential election. NZ voted for Prince Ali at the last FIFA congress where he lost to Sepp Blatter.

NZ U17 women have their closest match yet but manage to sneak into the final with an 11-0 win over Fiji.

January 23^rd

NZ Women take the first step towards the Rio Olympics with a 7-1 thrashing of Papua New Guinea in the 1^st leg of the qualifier in Lae PNG. PNG's goal is only their 2^nd ever against NZ in 15 matches (NZ have scored 92).

Roy O'Donovan's appeal of his 8 match ban is dismissed by the A-League

Northern League division 2 side, Manukau City, appoint Kevin Fallon as head coach

January 24^th

Ex All White Tim Brown calls for NZ to join the Asia confederation. He has just finished a dissertation on the subject but even with this knowledge he bizarrely claims Oceania isn't a proper confederation and seems to miss the point that Asia don't want us.

Penalties in all ASB Premiership games today. Team Wellington drop out of the top 4 with a 2-2 draw against Canterbury United, both their goals come from Penalties. Paul Ifill scores for Hawke's Bay United in a 2-1 over Southern United who miss a late penalty and a Joao Moieria hat-trick (including a penalty) helps Auckland City see off Wellington Phoenix 4-2 at a very hot Kiwitea Street.

NZ U17 women win the Oceania Championship with an 8-0 win over Papua New Guinea. While the record of 53 goals for and none against is fantastic hopefully they will get some harder competition before they compete in the World Cup in Jordan in June.

January 25^th

The Phoenix lose 3-1 again, this time to Melbourne City. The game is delayed an hour due the semi-final of the W-League going to extra time and pens. The FFA, obviously not considering this a possibility when setting the kick off times!

January 26^th

The Papua New Guinea women's team have forgotten to organise visa's for New Zealand so default the 2^nd leg, gifting NZ qualification for the Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, not that it was in much doubt.

January 27^th

Around $50 million has been bet via Asian Gambling sites on the ASB Premiership. NZ Football have contracted a company to monitor betting patterns and in conjunction with the NZ Players Association has introduced a comprehensive education programme for players to prevent any possible corruption.

January 28^th

A late goal gives Auckland City a 1-0 win over Team Wellington at the Sandpit. Team Wellington have now gone 264 minutes without scoring a goal from open play, while Auckland City are now unbeaten in 22 ASB Premiership games.

January 29^th

Ice cream seller and All White Bahrain goal hero, Rory Fallon, who hasn't played a competitive game since October 2014 signs for English League 2 team, Bristol Rovers.

Ice Cream Sellers Carly & Rory Fallon

January 30^th

Wellington Phoenix are in a bus crash. No not the 3-1 loss to fellow strugglers Central Coast Mariners, an actual bus crash on the way back to the hotel after the “home” game played in Christchurch.

The Weenix play Canterbury United in the curtain raiser and also lose 3-1

Another contender for administrators of the year, Auckland Football, send an email to all clubs in the Northern League proposing a 13 team top division for the forthcoming season. This is their solution to the Three Kings United player ineligibility saga from last season.

January 31^st

3-1 is the popular score at the moment, Auckland City open up a 7 point gap at the top of the league with a 3-1 away win over Hawke's Bay United. Team Wellington's first goal from open play in 267 minutes is actually an own goal by WaiBOP's Tyler Lissette, they go on to win 3-1. Waitakere United break the pattern hammering Southern United 6-0, the biggest winning margin so far this season.

The Phoenix's much hyped off season singing, Jeffery Sarpong, is heading back to the Netherlands by mutal consent after half a season that at best could be described as a flop

 

I'm supposed to score goals?